Portals Gone A Miss
by Midna Hytwilian
Summary: Oh NO! When Midna's portals don't work what havoc will they create? Sweeney Characters, Twilight Characters, Spongebob Characters, and who the hell is that? Friends, family, and possesions are stolen, will they save the day, items, and find the traitor?
1. Arriving In Crazy Town

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THIS! THIS IS FOR PURE PLEASURE AND FAN (HINT THE FRIGGIN SITE IS CALLED FAN FICTION!) **

**A/N I wanted to try to test my Twilight Major Skills, TP skills, and other skills, enjoy. DAMN IT I SAID ENJOY! STOP FRIGGIN READING THIS NOW! DAMN IT! (runs off pissed) I TRIED to keep them in character and honestly I think I did, lol, sorry if you HATE the characters I choose but oh well go live with it damn it! LOL!**

The light sparkled upon him, the suns brilliant glow, sparkling on his skin like a millon tiny diamonds on his skin. "Edward, I really should get back to Charlie..." Bella sighed, they'd be marrying soon and she didn't want to push her luck.

"Fine, you're right." Edward chuckled, his velvet voice spoke sending a shiver down Bella's spine. All of a sudden a strange blue swirling portal appeared from the sky. "What the hell?" Bell asked in a low whisper. Naturally Edward Cullen the vampire heard her. "Damn what is it?" Edward asked and stared at it, soon they dissolved into a thousand tiny pieces and were sucked through.

"Spongebob leave me alone you moron!" Squidward screamed as Spongebob tried to coax him to go jellyfishing like every Sunday. "Squidward it's good for your soul!" Spongebob spoke in a soft voice. Squidward smirked "I have no soul happy?" Spongebob gasped, Squidward looked up to see if Patrick was jumping off of Spongebob's pineapple like he told him. "What the-?"

Squidward asked spotting a strange blue swirling portal above them. "It's magical!" Spongebob laughed. Soon the two were broken into thousands of tiny black pieces and disappeared. "Spongebob? Squidward?" Patrick called out and looked above, nothing was there.

"Get out." A voice growled from inside a barber's shop. There Mrs. Lovett ran off down the stairs to the pie shop. The Judge was coming, and Mr.T needed privacy. "Why Mr.T needs to lighten up a bit." She muttered under her breath. Soon enough Anthony barged in as Sweeney Todd came close to slitting the Judge's throat.

Once again Sweeney Todd screamed to get out at Anthony as the Judge left a minute ago. Mrs. Lovett came up not knowing what had been going on. The two began singing when they heard a faint noise above them, they stopped their song and looked up. Another one of the blue swirling portals was above them, they were broken into a thousand tiny pieces and sucked in. Another pair gone from their reality.

"How come we can't warp?!" Link asked as he became angrier, he needed to get to Hyrule Castle Town fast, he had just gotten the Master sword finally and was himself. "I'm trying but it won't work!" Midna shouted, angry at herself for not being any help. "Maybe I should have died." Midna muttered.

Link did not over hear. "EDWARD!" A voice screamed and Link looked up, a woman about the same age as him with brown flowing hair, and t-shirt and sweatpants fell and landed firmly on him, along with a man who was the same age as Link and landed on his feet, brownish blond hair, his skin sparkling, his topaz eyes gleaming with fun, he dazzled Midna. "Ow, where the hell are we Edward?" The woman asked as she stood up, brushing herself off, not noticing Link.

"I have no clue Bella. But I smell, wolf, and human?" Edward asked and wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Werewolfs great." He whispered fast so no one could hear. Midna came out of Link's shadow, where she hid when the two fell. "What is that?" Bella asked and stared at Midna with wide eyes.

"An Imp moron." Midna groaned. Bella gasped "imps exist?" Bella asked, turning towards Edward, "I had no clue." He said and smiled a humored smile at Midna, Midna's heart skipped a beat. "Ow, my head." Link groaned and stood up rubbing it.

"What the Hyrule Hell?" Link asked as he spotted to two. "Who the hell are you?" Bella asked and examined Link's green tunic. "Who are you two?" Link asked, ignoring Bella. "Edward Cullen, and Bella Swann, pleasure to meet you." Edward introduced shaking Link's hand firmly, Link gasped "another one as strong as me?" He asked himself and Edward seemed confused.

"A vampire?" He asked studying Link's eyes. "What? No, I'm a chosen hero." Link laughed. Bella tapped Edward lightly. Link bumped into Edward by accident, and realized how cold and hard his skin was. "Edward, don't you think we should know their names?" Bella asked and Edward laughed his musical laugh. Dazzling Midna constantly. "Link and this is Midna." Link introduced, Bella sighed "so where are we?" She asked.

Link stared at them oddly. "Hyrule, where else? Unless you're from the Twilight Realm!" Link shouted at the last sentence, hoping his quest would be eassier. "Um, where we live they don't call it the Twilight Realm." Bella whispered. Link had to listen carefully.

Two more figures fell, thus landing on Link, again. "Ugh, SPONGEBOB YOU MORON! WHAT DID YOU DO!?!" Squidward shouted as he got up from the ground where he fell. "I think we should ask the magic conch." Spongebob whispered. Squidward groaned "NOT THAT AGAIN!?!" Bella gasped "a squid? A sponge? What the-? How are they out of water?" Bella asked. Squidward turned around to see, one imp, one human, one vampire, and looked down to see one unconscious chosen hero. "Where are we? Who are you?" Squidward asked.

Midna groaned "I'm Midna, and the guy your friend is sitting on is Link." Bella groaned "damn it, why does this stuff always happen?" Bella asked and Edward chuckled a velvet chuckle "bad luck love. I am Edward Cullen, and this is Bella. I'm a vampire, she's human, Midna I think is an imp, and Link says he's a chosen hero." Edward introduced them all.

"Whatever, I'm Squidward Tenticals. And he is NOT my friend!" Squidward shouted at the last sentence. Spongebob started giggling "you mean Squidward Tennisballs! Hi, I'm Spongebob Squarepants!" Spongebob laughed his strange laugh and shook Bella's hand. "Okay damn it my dreams are SO not vivid anymore. I hope Edward doesn't hear me mutter this." Bella whispered and Edward smirked "we're not in a dream, remember I don't sleep."

Link over heard all of the talk as he was unconscious and finally got up to his feet. Spongebob pulled out a box and a jellyfish net he always kept in his pocket. Midna eyed it suspiciously. "Do you ALWAYS keep that with you?" Midna asked and Spongebob laughed his strange laugh again "yep along with my bubble juice wanna see!?!" Midna sighed "Goddesses hell no." Spongebob still blew a bubble, it looked just like Midna minus color and details. "What the-?" Midna began but it popped. Edward started speaking to Link near the holder of the master sword. "Explain this to me please." Edward sighed and Link filled him in.

"Okay, thanks, now anyway how can we get back?" Edward asked and Link groaned "I wish I knew." Then two people fell again for the third friggin time, this time no one landed on anybody. "Ow!" Mrs. Lovett groaned as she got up off her butt she landed on. "Bloody Hell that hurts!" She complained and looked up. "What the bloody Hell is going on? Where am I? Mr.T?" She called out and soon Sweeney landed also on the ground.

"I will kill that sailor the minute I say him I swear to god!" He groaned and stood up to see fourteen eyes on him, which included Mrs. Lovett's. "Where are we?" Sweeney growled at Link who grabbed his master sword out. "Hyrule damn it!" Link groaned and Sweeney took out a razor, "don't threaten me boy." He hissed and walked towards Midna.

"Now loves, please tell us your names and make this easier on Mr. T...he's a bit crazed." Mrs. Lovett sighed trying to seem nice. In the end it only gave everyone a chill in their spine, except Edward who naturally knew he could kill them if necessary. "Edward Cullen the vampire, Bella Swann the human, Midna the imp, Squidward Tentacles the squid, Spongebob Squarepants the sponge, and me, Link the chosen hero. Is that everyone?" Link asked and everyone but Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett nodded their heads. "Mr.T I don't think it'd be safe to kill anyone here, we need to get back to Fleet Street." The baker whispered hoping no one would hear, of course only Edward heard and growled.

"You imp, what is going on?" Mr.T asked and pointed his razor at Midna. "You're in Hyrule, now stop pointing that at me!" Midna screamed and Mr.T went to slit her throat, in a second Edward was blocking Midna and the razor didn't even scratch Edward as Bella screamed frightened, Link was behind Sweeney in a minute with the master sword revealed prepared to draw blood. "Bloody Hell Mr.T stop giving them a fright!" Mrs. Lovett ordered slightly pissed off by the man she was madly in love with.

Spongebob was still in the distant swinging his net hoping to catch a jellyfish SOME how. Sweeney stopped swinging the razor and walked towards the exit of the small little clearing. "What the hell was that all about?" Bella asked as Edward was all of a sudden near her. Edward shook his head, it was odd, no one cared he sparkled or could move fast, it was like he was in a clearing with male and female Bella's.

"I'm Mrs. Lovett dearies," she introduced herself and shook everyone else's hands, hoping they'd take her and Mr.T home. "And nut job is?" Link and Midna asked in unison. Her face seemed to twist into pain for a second and then she answered, her face fine now. "Mr.T, or Sweeney Todd as he likes to be called, but he is not a nut job." The obsessed baker introduced Sweeney.

"Any ideas how this happened?" Bella asked Midna and Link. Midna gulped. "Well we were trying to warp back to Castle Town but...it wouldn't work so I tried three times. I guess the portals ended up at your homes and sucked you through?" Midna asked stuttering, trying to apologize in a strange way. "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I'M STUCK HERE WITH THIS TWIT BECAUSE OF YOU!?!" Squidward shouted at Midna.

"Um..kinda?" Midna whispered, frightened by the rage Squidward showed, she was still shaken up by 'Mr.T' as Mrs. Lovett called him. "Look, no reason to fight." Edward sighed and stepped in between Midna and Squidward instantly. "Why are you being so kind?" Bella asked and Edward whispered low "I don't know about this Mrs. Lovett, if she gets the wrong impression she may do something with her boyfriend."

"He's right guys, we should JUST get to Castle Town and sort things out. Besides, I need to see if the Postman has any letters for me." Link groaned and Squidward sighed "fine, but I want a clarinet." Link groaned "damn their goes my last rupees!" As the five sorted out what they'd do and how they would split up Edward pulled Bella aside. "Look, Bella, that Sweeney guy is thinking about revenge, I don't want you to know it all because it may frightens you but, he wants to kill, and all that Lovett's wants is his love, she'll do ANYTHING, Link seems good enough to trust, and this Midna seems to be some princess of sorts, Spongebob is rather worried about his friend Patrick, and Squidward is really pissed so I want you to either go with Midna, Link, or Spongebob. Who knows what that Squidward IS capable of." Edward trailed off.

"You had to read minds again? I thought you were trying not to be nosey?" Bella questioned and Edward sighed "damn it Bella I'm protecting you!" "I don't find it safe to keep Lovett and Sweeney together Link, it doesn't seem right." Midna whispered to Link. Link sighed "same here, I think it's better if Edward goes with Sweeney, he seems indestructible, Spongebob could go with Mrs. L, and I'll go with Squidward, can you go with Bella?" Link asked, he was rather tired today, being the fact that twice today three bodies fell on him.

"Fine, I'll even take her clothes shopping, but what about Squidward and Spongebob? Their sea creatures, they'll scare the Hyrulians!" Midna hissed and Link sighed again, "true, well can you watch them when we go to Telma's? I can buy Squidward a clarinet then." "Fine but this doesn't seem right." Midna muttered under her breath, soon enough they all walked out towards Sweeney, afraid to suck more people into the world with a portal. "Mr.T come on love, remember wait, you'll have revenge soon enough." Mrs. Lovett whispered in his ear and he growled "fine, but keep them away."

She groaned "deary I can't, they insisted the sparkily one go with you." Edward walked near Sweeney and Sweeney gripped his holster with his razor, ready for an attack if he needed to.

Finally they were out of the woods and near grass Link could call his dear horse on. "Damn it, Link we don't have a carriage!" Midna groaned and Edward grinned, "no worries." Edward grabbed Bella and put her on his back, in the distance he could see a castle and ran extremely fast towards it, in a minute he was back, Bella was standing still near the castle. "Who's next?" Edward asked, and Link whispered into Midna's ear. She grinned and turned Link into a wolf quickly. Edward's nose twitched and he sighed "wolfs..."

Link grabbed Spongebob and ran off with him on his back. In five minutes he was back, Squidward was the only one left. "Well, Edward could you take him?" Link asked and Edward grinned "my pleasure." He noticed Link was luckily human, and not naked. They all arrived in front and Link did not receive a letter. Instead he watched Squidward and Spongebob as Midna took Edward and Bella shopping, and Sweeney Todd would be fine in Hyrule, except for depressing he actually looked natural.

Finally the five came out, Midna came out of Bella's shadow and smiled. "Go get them wolf!" Link groaned at Midna's nickname for him. Quickly he bought a clarinet for Squidward and walked into the bar, with , Sweeney Todd, Edward Cullen, and Bella Swann, close behind. "Well, fancy seeing you here Link! There's trouble in Gurredo Desert! Can you go meet my friend at Lake Hylia, he knows ALL about it. And Link, who are your friends?" Telma asked and Link grinned, "Mr.T, Mrs. Lovett, Bella, and Edward." He said greeting them, Sweeney's face turned into disgust and he flinched at the name 'Mr.T' it annoyed him easily and he walked outside, Edward followed behind.

"My, Link your friend Edward seemed like he was sparkling, or is it my eyes playing tricks?" Telma asked and Bella chuckled at this. "Just eyes." Link said catching onto Bella's expression that read 'don't tell her the truth!' and walked back out to Midna. There was Sweeney and Edward, Edward listened to Sweeney's sad tale he knew of thanks to his abblities as Sweeney continued singing. Midna became shocked when she saw the three and put her pinky to her mouth, signaling silence. The group listened to the tale as Spongebob was dancing in the field shouting "BRING IT AROUND TOWN!" They soon drowned Spongebob's voice out like the rest and listened to the story, fright was in their eyes as he came to his first murder. He was a criminal.

**WHAT SHALL HAPPEN NEXT? WILL BELLA TELL MIDNA SHE KNOWS HER SECRET? WILL BELLA'S BAD LUCK HURT THEM ALL? WILL SPONGEBOB ANNOY SQUIDWARD? WILL EDWARD BECOME FRIENDS WITH SWEENEY? WILL THEY SURVIVE THE TEMPLE? WILL SPONGEBOB PISS ZANT OFF? ONLY TIME CAN TELL IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF....PORTALS GONE A MISS! Please review, reviews make me happy, and if I get a review I'll give you a copy of every charecter I talk about in the story...**

**Re-Write Comment: Wow the first chapter was a bit slow. Aw well, it gets better...I think my fave chap was Never Trust a Yeti! LOL.**


	2. The Big Showdown!

**OH NO! DAMN SWEENEY HAS JUST TOLD HIS LIFE STORY! HOW WILL THE GROUP COPE? WILL QUESTIONS FLY? WILL PEOPLE BE FRIGHTEENED? DAMN WHEN ARE THEY GETTING TO THE TEMPLE?! LOL! JOIN IN TODAY ON WHEN PORTALS GO A MISS!**

Bella shifted uncomfortable by Sweeney's life story. Link and Midna sighed- they were used to insanity by now- and just waited for the story to end. Squidward dreamt of being back in the Bikini Bottom and Spongebob staying here, Spongebob danced off in the background. was in a daze thinking of songs she could sing to 'Mr.T' and gain his love. Edward however smiled his brilliant smile. "We thought it was a newborn." Laughed Edward's musical velvet laugh. "And this is funny why?" Bella asked staring at Edward like he was nuts. "No reason, just makes me wonder how he killed so many people in a week." Edward sighed, stared at him oddly "love, Mr.T just arrived and only killed one person, what do you mean so many people in a week?" She asked and Edward laughed harder. "They're from a different time period aren't they?" Bella asked Edward and he only shook his head yes. Sweeney snapped out of his trance about his razors. "Laugh again and it's your throat!" Sweeney roared at Edward and Edward's face turned serious.

"Little slow on the uptake?" Edward asked and Sweeney charged at him. He went to slit Edward's throat but once again it didn't even leave a scratch. "How?" Sweeney asked staring in shock, "vampire." Edward chuckled. The group set off for Lake Hylia and after a nice long and pointless paragraph they arrived to the desert. "Never again." Bella moaned when they landed on the sand, she was a tad shaken up from the cannon blast. Link and Edward laughed. Spongebob joined in with his strange laugh and Midna began giggling, they were the only ones not scared. Well Spongebob DID start crying like a little baby but being the moron he was eventually he stopped and started screaming "WHOOO!" Sweeney stood up and brushed himself off, he had gotten a tad frightened himself, let go of Sweeney because of him pushing her off his shoulder, honestly Link thought that she had just gripped onto him then as an excuse.

"Spongebob I am going to KILL you!" Squidward shouted chasing Spongebob because of his annoying laughter. Edward was besides Bella quickly and Midna came out of her shadow and explained to everyone about her being part of the Twili. After MUCH annoyingness in the desert of Spongebob singing "THE KRUSTY KRAB PIZZA, THE KRUSTY KRAB PIZZA IS FOR YOU AND ME!" Over a THOUSAND times and everyone shouting "SHUT UP!" and Sweeney chasing him with his razors they finally arrived in the dungeon. Only Link and Edward did the work, with the few slight times Sweeney Todd got so angry he'd kill an enemy with his razors. Bella tried to help but Edward would have her go with Spongebob, keeping Squidward and Marge together. After a while they got used to the skelletons and un-dead monsters shouting unintellegatble things and arrived at the 'boss'.

"What the name in Twili Hell?" Zant asked as he stared at the strange group in the dungeon's boss room. He took his helmet off. "AHH PLANKTON! I'LL GUARD THE RECIPE!" Shouted Spongebob randomly. Squidward sighed as Spongebob his behind a pot at the other side of the room. "What the hell?" Bella asked and stared at Zant's face. Edward's eyes glisteened brighter as he stared at Zant's, Zant had a faint golden topez, was he a vampire? "Zant, this is Sweeney Todd, Marge Lovetts, Bella, Edward, Spongebob, Squidward, and you know Midna." Link groaned and pointed to each one as he said their names. "I wasn't expecting a posse." Zant giggled. Link grinned "I GOT HOMIES!" Link shouted. (**In CASE you're wondering where the hell the comedy has been it's just begun, I thought it time for Link to start acting out of charecter.**) Midna stared at Link oddly, "umm, Link are you okay? You're not acting like yourself." Muttered Midna and everyone turned to stare at the two. "Aw crap, damn it, he's gone nuts! He's friggin afraid you're gonna get killed, damn it." Edward whispered to Midna and then was once again next to Bella.

"How did-?" Midna began to ask and Zant started giggling "I'm gonna piss of this skeliton thing because it's FUN!" Spongebob ran over back to everyone and started singing "F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me, N is for anywhere at anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea!" Zant groaned and pissed off the skeliton and left. "Erm, by any chances can Sweeney be a tad kind and help you out Edward? I don't think our choosen hero will be able to." Midna whispered as she stared at Link wimper in a corner. "What smells like piss and ink?" Sweeney hissed and wrinkled his nose, "who bought Perilie's elixar?" He asked and Midna stared at Link, he pissed his pants, Squidward was in a corner, ink surrounded him. "That'd explain it." Bella sighed.

**OH NO! WITH SPONGEBOB ANNOYING ZANT, ZANT PISSING OFF THE SKELITION, LINK A COWARD, AND SQUIDWARD AND LINK PISSING THEMSELFS, WILL THE GROUP SURVIVE? WILL SWEENEY AND EDWARD SAVE THE DAY? WHY THE HELL AM I ASKING YOU!?! PLEASE REVIEW AND ALSO...F IS FOR FRIENDS WHO DO STUFF TOGETHER! (waves razor around) Sweeney Sweeney! **


	3. MAKE WAY FOR FANGIRLS!

**IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN! (sings) F is for flames that burn down the city, U is for urinaom BOMBS, N is for no surivors WHEN YOU- Wait what? Since when could I not say bombs? OH DAMN IT!**

Midna sighed "so I AM going to die?" Bella ran over to Midna to tell the princess goodbye before the pissed off skelition could attack. "Goodbye Midna, princess, I JUST want to know are you the princess of the Twili?" Bella asked. Midna gasped "but...HOW?!" She asked. Bella side stepped back to Edward. "OhcrapohcrapohcrapOHCRAP!" muttered as she realized the pissed off skelition get up. "It looks like a dragon." Edward stated, Link and Spongebob began to sing "PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON LIVED BY THE SEA-" Everyone turned around and shouted "SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"So, how do we go about this?" Sweeney growled next to Edward, Edward sighed "I say we go after it's spine, looks weak. Grab Link's spinning thing, I'll use myself." Bella stomped her foot "AND US?" She asked, Edward chuckled "stay put." After about fifteen minutes Edward and Sweeney killed Puff. Everyone cheered except naturally Sweeney Todd and Edward Cullen. "Aww..CRAP!" Bella shouted as it's head floated up. "DAMN IT EDWARD RUN!" Midna screamed, Edward looked Sweeney over, he seemed tired from the first fight. "I can kill it." He whispered and Edward took the spinner.

Another 15 minutes passed and finally they were free to go. Puff had died. Link brushed himself off dazed. "What in Hyrule Hell happened to Zant and the pissed off skelition?" He asked, Midna sighed "too much to explain, now come on damn you Link." They all walked out, not knowing what to expect and found a shattered mirror. "Oh SHIT!" Link shouted and looked at Midna who was sitting up against the only piece of mirror. "Link, I don't understand." She whispered. After a cool/boring cutscene which I am SOOO not going into the details they decided to go back to Telma's bar for a drink.

"It's STILL not working?" Cried an angry Midna as she tried to use a portal. "AWW CRAP WATCH OUT VICKY!" A female voice shouted from above, two teenaged girls fell on Link. "Ow my head." The one with brown short flipped hair moaned, she opened up her green eyes and brushed off her red blouse and black shorts. "Ow damn it, where the hell are we?" She asked, the other one stood up too, poor Link was passed out because of the two, her black, long, curly hair with purple streaks bounced against her shoulders. Blue eyes stained with tears. "Where are we IS right?" She asked and stared at everyone.

"OMFG! IT'S EDWARD CULLEN! OH AND BELLA, DAMN GIRL YOU ARE SOOO LUCKY! OH MY GOD SWEENEY AND !" Yelled the girls and began giving their idols hugs, Sweeney seemed disgusted by the affection. The girls grinned "SPONGEBOB AND SQUIDWARD YAY!" They hugged Spongebob and Squidward and finally saw Midna, "MIDNA! OHH MIDNA WE MISSED YOU! CRAPPY NINTENDO HAVING TO DO THAT AT THE END! THEY SOO BETTER HAVE YOU IN THE NEXT ONE!" The girls shouted and hugged her. They didn't think it smart to wake Link up.

"What are your names if you know ours?" Bella asked and the two girls smirked "eeh hee, she's Vicky!" The one girl with brown hair giggled. "And SHE'S !" Vicky laughed hystericaly. "HEY I INTRODUCED YOU DAMN IT! I'M ALICE!" Alice shouted and jumped up and down, grinning. "EDWARD WE LOVE YOU!" The girls shouted in unison and kissed him on the cheek, Bella became furious "alright b-" (BECAUSE I AM TRYING NOT TO CURSE FOR NO APPARENT REASON THAT SHALL BE BEEPED!) "ALRIGHT BEEPS! FUNS OVER!" Bella shouted at the two, they were younger though, maybe 12, 13?

"Eeh Hee Bella called us BITCHES!" They giggled (AWW DAMN IT STUPID VICKY AND ALICE! TWO CHARECTERS THAT BELONG TO ME AND WHAT DO THEY DO!?!) and ran over to Sweeney and did the same to him, Sweeney went to reach his razors but the girls tighteened their grip "damn Sweeney if you think you're killing US so easily then face reality." The two girls whisperd, seemed like she was trying not to kill them or call them BITCHES like Bella did. Finally they went over to our beloved choosen hero Link, who was SLOWLY gaining conciousness "I'M VICKY AND SHE'S ALICE!" Vicky shouted and scared the Hyrule Hell out of him.

Link sighed and chatted with Midna, this time the portal worked finally and they all warped, back to Telma's, this time Midna bought clothing for the two girls while no one spoke in ages, except for Vicky, Alice, and Spongebob who kept singing random Spongebob songs. "IT'LL HELP, IT'LL HELP, IF YOU JUST SING ALONG!!!!" The two girls sang ending the Campfire Song Song, Vicky immitated smashing a drum kit on Spongebob and he popped up screaming "OH YEAH!" Everyone glared at the three and shouted "SHUT UP!" Obviously they did not like sing-a-longs as the author does and shall start ranting about a VERY FUNNY AND COOL STORY!

(Screen fades away)

Me:OH DAMN IT!

**Now with two new random out comers who are just as annoying as the Posse Sponge as I shall NOW revert Spongebob too, and the posse going nuts from a VERY tiring day what more is there to do besides sing the Campfire Song Song when they camp for the night? Next chapter shall include Campfire Song Song lyrics posted by ME and a little rant I shall go on about, if you are PLANNING on skipping it then guess what suckers, EVERY NOW AND AGAIN BIG INFO SHALL POP UP SO OH DAMN YOU CAN'T RUN OFF! MWAHAHA! (cough) Ouch that hurts!  
Vicky+Alice=One Damn Awesome Writer (not kidding they are JUST like me!) **

**One Damn Awesome Writer+An Annoyed Awesome Posse=Cannibal Posse Eating Said Awesome Writer. **

**YEAH TRY FIGURING OUT THAT MATH! OH YEAH! And my Math Teachers say I suck? Hmm...NOW WHO'S THE SUCK!?! **


	4. Boobs Mcgee and the Puppet Attack

**Disclaimer: Nope don't own Spongebob Squarepants, Twilight, Sweeney Todd, OR the Campfire Song Song!**

**A/N sorry I didn't update this sooner...just wasn't feeling the story so, lol. Never mind bout my rant OR the Campfire Song Song. Lol.**

"Link and friends, I got news from a friend of mine that there's trouble in the Faron Woods!" Telma greeted the posse. "Oh come on Miss Not Optimistic." Vicky groaned upon seeing her. "I don't know, a LOT of people call her boobs mcgee. I mean LOOK at that! CHILDREN PLAY THIS GAME!" Alice shouted. "Hi Telma." Everyone greeted except naturally Midna who was with Squidward and Spongebob, even the two fan girls greeted her PROPERLY.

"Where is the guy?" Link asked. "Down near the forest temple." Telma answered "I'm not giving any of you anything to drink. Except him." Telma winked at Sweeney Todd. "Oh god not another one!" Sweeney groaned. "Mr. T we'll go by the sea when we get." Mrs. Lovett tried calming him down. Only ending up making him groan more. "Poor Toby, he's probably wonderin' where we are. Probably drinking all the gin." Mrs. Lovett sighed.

"Who the hell is Toby?" Bella asked Edward. "Adopted son, remember?" Edward asked Bella. "Oh...forgot." Bella laughed. "Alright guys come on." Link beckoned as he walked back to the door. They quickly teleported to Faron Woods. "OMG THAT WAS SO COOL!" Vicky shouted for the second time. "You said it when we arrived in Hyrule Field, we know!" Link groaned.

"Ah Link! Telma's told me about you!" The man greeted Link. The two droned on and then the man took his helmet on. He put it back on a minute. "Hmm...he seemed familiar..." Link sighed when he left. "SO...how do we do this?" Link asked when the man left. "Well I can run everyone over. I can pratically fly across." Edward answered. "I'll go by cucco, Midna stay in my shadow." Link ordered.

Edward picked Vicky up. "OMG YAY!" Vicky shouted and then it was over. She was put on the ground by the howling stone. "EEP!" Alice squealed when she opened her eyes. Finally the entire posse was at the entrance. "Come on." Link ordered leading the way inside. "HEE HEE!" A voice laughed. "Oh crap." Everyone muttered. "What now?" Sweeney asked.

"Skull kid, or trumpet kid." Link sighed. "Puppets." Edward finished Link's thought. "Let's gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song!" Spongebob sang. Squidward glared at him. "Try not to be a moron for five minutes." Squidward ordered. Suddenly the skull kid came down and blew his trumpet. Puppets flew everywhere. "CRAP IT'S IN MY HAIR!" Vicky squealed as a puppet began poking it's wooden hand in her hair.

"GET IT AWAY!" Alice screamed. "MR. T!" Mrs. Lovett called who was being surrounded. "EDWARD HELP!" Bella ordered who was being cornered. "I'll get the girls! Edward get Bella, Sweeney get Mrs. Lovett." Link ordered and they saved the girls. "Phew." Bella sighed. "THEY'RE COMING BACK!" Mrs. Lovett shouted. "No place like London? I beg to differ now." Sweeney groaned and sliced a puppet with his razor.

"A perfect friend gone to waste! Now this can NEVER cut skin again!" Sweeney roared angerily. "AHH I LOVE YOU CLARI!" Squidward screamed as he was surrounded. "Don't worry Squidward!" Spongebob screamed and karate chopped them all. "Thanks Spongebob! You're a real friend!" Squidward commented. "_Friend."_ Spongebob said romanticly.

"No, no, I didn't mean it!" Squidward shouted putting his arms up in defense. "Guys we're here." Link whistled five minutes later.

**A/N until next time!**


	5. Evil Doers!

**Disclaimer: Apparently I DO own Sweeney Todd, Spongebob Squarepants, and Twilight! (Lawyer) Give me that ownership paper back! (hands over ownership paper) Sorry. Okay I don't own Sweeney Todd, Spongebob Squarepants, OR Twilight anymore. Damn you lawyer.**

**A/N howdy boys and girls! It's time for your FAVORITE under sea peanut! Goofy Goober! Lol. **

"Whoa." Vicky whispered looking up at a temple in ruins. "The temple of time." Alice sighed. This was the two girls' FAVORITE place in OOT and they still got chills when they went here in Twilight Princess.

"Temple of what?" Squidward asked not taking his eyes off the ruined temple. "Temple of time, damn it does nobody listen to me!?" Alice shouted. Edward picked up a stone. "Nice place." Edward chuckled.

"Who liv' here?" Mrs. Lovett asked strolling over to Sweeney. "Nobody, it was a temple though." Midna answered. "Well duh." Vicky laughed. "Edward…this is rather odd." Bella sighed. "Oh and dating a vampire isn't?" Edward asked.

"Okay yeah you're right." Bella laughed. "HEY LOOK EVERYONE IT'S GOOFY GOOBER!" Spongebob shouted pointing to a shadow. "What in bloody hell is a goofy goober?" Sweeney Todd asked.

"An under sea peanut this moron worships." Squidward answered. "Well that's not Goofy Goober but it IS a person. I don't remember anyone popping up here besides Otka or whatever her name is." Alice explained.

"Is that...?" Mrs. Lovett trailed off. "The Judge." Sweeney growled. He went to grab his razor and stomp off towards him but his shoulder was caught. "Wait." Mrs. Lovett ordered.

"JAMES!" Bella gasped. "Not possible." Edward whispered, he went to go forward, but his shoulder was also held, though it did nothing he stopped for the person. "Wait one second." Bella ordered.

"OMG ALISON!" Vicky gasped. Their arch enemy Alison who was one of those popular bitches stood with the group they saw. "No friggin way!" Alice whispered. Alice went to go punch the girl but her shoulder was ALSO caught. "Not without me." Vicky ordered.

The two went to go towards the girl but BOTH of their shoulders were caught. "Not now." Link ordered. "HE TOUCHED US!" Alice and Vicky squealed happily. Link caught sight of someone that made his grip loosen.

"Ganondorf." Link hissed. Midna flew out of Link's shadow and with her hair gripped his shoulder, "remember the group." Midna reminded him of the humans, vampire, murderers, and sea creatures.

"Look its Plankton!" Spongebob pointed over to a VERY tiny dot on James shoulder. "What do we do?" Edward asked. "I say we slit their throats." Sweeney growled. That thought always kept him going.

"I say we stab them." Link answered with a hiss. Help the light realm and twilight realm quicker. "Rip them to shreds Edward!" Bella cheered. "I say we kick their asses!" Vicky and Alice laughed. Oh the thought of kicking their enemies ass.

"I say we give them a nasty patty!" Spongebob said in a sing-song voice. Everyone turned to glare at him. "Goofy Goober?" Spongebob asked trying to make them forget what he had said.

"It's decided then. Let's go kick some ass." Link whispered and the group walked over to the other group. "Look what we have here!" Plankton laughed. "Snacks." James hissed. "Trash." Alison laughed.

"Benjamin Barker." The Judge stated. Sweeney's grip around his razor tightened. "The hero of time." Ganondorf chuckled. "Oh look and his little pathetic Twilight princess!" Everyone but Edward, Bella, Vicky, and Alice turned their gaze to Midna.

"Oh crap." Midna gulped. "Twilight princess?" Link asked. "She's royalty?" Squidward asked. "Princess would you like a Krabby patty?" Spongebob asked kindly, bowing slightly.

"She's a bloody princess?" Sweeney asked in shock. "Mr. T are you thinkin' the same thin'?" Mrs. Lovett asked her eyes darting before the princess and Link. "Yes, but we'd be put in Bedlam if we said a word." Sweeney answered.

"Link…I was going to tell you. It's just…you see…Zant cursed me to look like this." Midna explained tears formed in her eyes. "You lied to me." Link whispered. "No not lie! No I never lied! I never said I wasn't a princess!" Midna gasped.

"Whoa this is a friggin Sweeney moment." Vicky whistled. "Umm…evil villains over here." Alison coughed, "yeah, yeah, yeah we're getting to it!" Alice groaned. "Don't throw her in the oven!" Vicky screamed. Everyone glared at her.

"What oven?" Bella asked trying to hold in laughter. "Er…um…hey look a bird!" Vicky shouted pointing above herself. Obviously nothing was friggin there so now I am going to ramble on about an imaginary bird for the rest of the story!

"We'll talk later about this." Link ordered and turned around to see Ganondorf behind him. "Holy goddesses of Hyrule, he's scarier then I thought!" Link gasped. Ganondorf did his cool evil chuckle thing.

"How…did they get here anyway?" Alice asked. "I summoned them." Ganondorf answered. "I can easily beat the chosen hero and his girlfriend but a large group…of murderers, humans, a vampire, and SEA CREATURES is not so easily done!" Ganondorf explained.

"Hmm I thought so." Vicky sighed. "Because of us the game has changed. Damn that sounds like the line from Harry Potter one when their on the massive wizard chess board!" Alice laughed.

"Oh god just friggin shut up!" Alison complained. "Let me at him." Sweeney Todd ordered gripping his razor. "See you next time." Ganondorf chuckled teleporting the group away.

"He just friggin left." Vicky groaned. "I HAD HIM!" Sweeney shouted annoyed that for the second time he had the Judge and then what happened? GONE! "We know Sweeney we know." Bella sighed.

"You didn't tell me!" Link hissed Midna. "Oh yes because that's how I am going to introduce myself. Hi I'm Midna the twilight princess, nice to meet you!" Midna said angrily "YES THAT IS HOW YOU INTRODUCE YOURSELF!" Link shouted.

"Two lovebirds, damn it, come on guys let's roam around." Vicky ordered and the group except Midna and Link roamed the ruined temple. Suddenly a window appeared. "A friggin window?" Alice asked.

"What in bloody blazes?" Mrs. Lovett asked. Suddenly pictures appeared before them. The first was Patrick, tied up. "PATRICK!" Spongebob cried out. Then a clarinet. "CLARI!" Squidward sobbed.

Quickly the images changed. An image of a Sweeney Todd DVD appeared. "NOOO THE FIENDS!" Vicky cried. Then the image of a Sweeney Todd cut out. "NOO JOHNNY!" Alice screamed frightened.

"Mr. T?" Mrs. Lovett asked frightened. Suddenly Toby appeared in the window, drunk, and tied up. "Toby." Mrs. Lovett whispered, a bottle of gin was clutched in his hands. Johanna was tied up now, in a blue dress, begging to be let out. "Johanna." Sweeney hissed. His baby girl.

Charlie's image filled, him also tied up. "CHARLIE!" Bella sobbed. Then Alice, sitting in a chair, metal chains tied around her body. "They have Alice too." Edward gasped. The group ran back to Link. "Link they have our friends!" Bella shouted.

"THEY HAVE MY DVD AND HER CUT OUTS!" Vicky screamed. "They have my daughter." Sweeney growled. "Collin." Link whispered and ran towards the window. Sure enough Collin's image appeared.

"Too far." Link growled.

**A/N the villains have appeared, the hero's friends/family/precious items have been kidnapped. Oh crap what the hell is next?! **


	6. New Phobia's and Reunite

**Disclaimer: I've been thinking bout it for a while but…I don't own Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Twilight, Sweeney Todd, OR Spongebob Squarepants.**

**A/N yes I shorten a WHOLE lot of the annoyance of the two fan girls, one friggin sponge singing his gay songs *which I still love*, and many of the characters worrying about Midna who (annoyed at the fact they knew) kept assuring them she was fine. Of course naturally Sweeney never really asked if she was okay and the only times Mrs. Lovett had asked was when it seemed necessary (like when one Hyrulian got mad over the fact he was not told earlier).**

Finally after long hours of being in a spider invested temple and Edward and Link figuring out the puzzles while Sweeney slit things (**yay for slitting**) they finally arrived at the boss, oh boy.

"Oh crap, I forgot. I HATE spiders." Vicky and Alice squealed together. (**I'm NOT kidding I have EXTREME arachnid phobia so imagine ME in the temple of sand with those tiny ones!!! My bro had to sing Dead Eye Gulch like THREE friggin TIMES! And then OI this one! Great boss fight considering, helped my fear a bit too, I laughed SOOO hard at the second match. Cracked me up.) **

"Spiders?" Midna asked. Suddenly right on cue each one looked up and spotted an eye on the ceiling. "Oh great." Bella sighed, immediately she was scooped into Edward's arms. "I hate spiders." Bella whispered to Alice and Vicky.

The two fan girls nodded in agreement. When suddenly the spider jumped down Spongebob caught on and ran around screaming in his high-pitched girly voice "SPIDER!!"

This was NOTHING compared to how he had acted in the Sand Temple according to Edward. Finally the spider was killed by Link, Edward, and even good ol' Sweeney chipped in.

Mrs. Lovett finally whipped tears from her eyes. She wasn't as bad as Vicky and Alice who had joined in with Spongebob and actually SOBBING. The spider appeared to be running now, tiny and surrounded by a million others. "Okay THIS part I liked!" Alice chirped up and started squishing the ones protecting the tiny one.

Link and Edward began laughing hysterically. Can you BLAME them? Sweeney's mouth twitched, a sign of him holding back a smile no doubt. God he hated being happy. Not very optimistic.

Bella, Vicky, Alice, Spongebob (big surprise right?), Mrs. Lovett (well that's actually a surprise), and hell even SQUIDWARD busted out laughing. It was as if all their troubles had disappeared suddenly and they were all the best of friends. Which in a way they were.

If Vicky could have bet her tongue and two legs she would because she SWORE to god she saw Sweeney smile. Not a fake smile. Not a smile of knowledge of the sins to be committed soon. No a REAL honest loving happy smile. And just like that it was gone.

"Annnd he's back." Vicky made a big deal of stretching the word and. "What?" Sweeney asked in a growl while Link and Edward (laughing still) shrugged and went to kill the god damn spider STILL running around.

"You smiled." Alice answered all of a sudden next to Vicky. "First off, how'd you get there? Second off, you saw?" Vicky asked. "First off, couple sea turtles mate-"Alice was interrupted by Vicky who saw fit to a quote also "not so easy is it mate?"

"Second off, I see all." Alice finished with a shrug. "OMFG YOU ARE SANTA!" Vicky exclaimed. Sweeney saw fit to leave this ramble before they remembered the reason they were there.

"No you don't! I want to know the god damn truth. Did you smile?" Alice asked pushing Vicky aside (literally). "Maybe." Sweeney growled. "Oh please, maybe! Ha!" Alice sighed and walked off.

"Yeah what she said!" Vicky huffed off. Finally the spider was killed. Two things fell from the sky. One tied up, and another just itself. "PATRICK!" Spongebob shouted and called his pink sea star friend.

"CLARI!" Squidward exclaimed catching the clarinet before it could fall. "Spongebob!" Patrick shouted and gave his friend a hug. "Aww…homosexual love." Vicky laughed. Which in a way was true, which made the show even more fun.

Patrick stood up and thought for a minute. "Uhhh…" Then he spotted Squidward. "Oh no…" Squidy shouted. "FRIEND." Patrick said lovingly. Patrick then spotted Edward before anyone else. He of course, being a moron, thought he was a villain.

"YOU BIG MEANY!" Patrick shouted punching poor sweet velvety Edward in the chest (of course this only gained a chuckle from Edward and pain from Patrick). "NO PATRICK!" Spongebob exclaimed.

"He's our FRIEND." Spongebob exclaimed to a confused Patrick (like he was never confused). "_Friend._" Patrick did the creepy friend thing again, which earned a laugh from Edward.

"He is just so cool." Alice sighed beside Vicky. "Yeah." Vicky agreed. And with that they left. Ready to kill the next FIEND. Oh yeah and go meet bad grammar yeti's. Oh glory.

**A/N yay for yeti's and lol Clari and Patrick have joined the gang, I lied duh. I am STILL a tad confused on what to do with Johanna and Sweeney…I don't know if I want Johanna to find out who her hot father is or not. I may just be cruel and say no she'll never find out kinda Link never finds out Rustle was the guy who popped up in front of the Forest Temple (DUN DUN DUN!) Now here comes my FAVE part (yes I did love the Ice Temple especially the boss fights and mini boss fight who gave THE best weapon EVER besides the claw shot!) because HOW many jokes can you NOT make about Yeta and Yeto? I MEAN COME ON!!! BAD GRAMMAR YETI'S ARE GREAT JOKES!**


	7. Never Trust a Yeti

**Disclaimer: Nope don't own Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess. DO YOU???**

**A/N before I start my odd little A/N I'd JUST like to correct myself here and as just like I said in my pm (to like my ONLY reviewer who has a friggin account) yes Zelda Obsessed! () you are correct. What temple is this?? Because I was thinking it was Temple of time, but that's AFTER snow peak. **

**You see this is simple to explain really. Me being a spaz and loving BOTH temples by accident switched them out before checking (give me a LITTLE bit of a break it was like 5 in the morning if not friggin 6) and so I say sorry BUT I can EASILY explain this story wise because I am too friggin lazy to FIX my mistake. Remember how Vicky and Alice said that because of them the game has changed and I made my little HP joke? Yes that crappy joke you all remember! Okayez so now that you have THAT indented into your mind just go with that! I also loved the Sky Temple guys just to let you know (as annoying and forever it took me to finish that night like four friggin hours, spent up to 3 am playing and beat Zant and went inside Hyrule Castle) and ESPCIALLY the prize (eeh hee TWO clawshots bitches!) and the big boss (he was just difficult and friggin fun) I almost pissed my pants cause of him. I had to sing PUFF THE MAGIC FRIGGIN DRAGON! And Elybe the Racist Dragon lol. Thank you friend from Kindergarten! Lolz she can't wait to get there or for ANY dragon for the manner. And now without further ado because I need to go clean my room (you won't see this till like 2) I shall go start my room and THEN write and THEN upload!**

"Link are we there yet?" Vicky groaned while Link (still in wolf form) sniffed around. He barked. Oh that REALLY told them. "Midna? Translate please." Alice begged, they didn't care princess or not she was still the best character ever.

And Midna loved the fact she was treated normally by SOMEONE. "He said no." Midna translated. "Edward I'm cold." Bella whispered while Edward stood as far away from the group as possible.

"Good then I should continue being over here." Edward laughed. Him and his cold skin probably would kill someone in this weather. Finally after MUCH complaining from everyone (but…guess who) they arrived near a tree.

"Omg no way! Why? I mean come on I'll be correcting them EVERY second!" Alice groaned as they walked over to the tree. (**I corrected grammar except in stories lol. Imagine ME here….**)

"Me Yeto! You here why?" Yeto asked. "I'M YETO, WHY ARE YOU HERE? GET IT RIGHT MORON!" Alice corrected, loudly. "Friggin mentally challenged retarded yetis." Vicky muttered.

"You come here for spirit walk no?" Yeto asked Link as Sweeney (how surprising) clutched his razor. "Err no. Umm we came here for a mirror shard and friends." Link answered while Edward laughed.

"Me race with you." Yeto said and pointed to a tree. "I am SO not rolling into it." Vicky answered. So of course Link and Edward rolled into it four times each bringing down eight ice boards.

"Ow my head hurts." Link said as he hopped on. "Err…Edward do you REALLY think this is save with me?" Bella asked. "No but there's not enough space for you to fit on with me and I can't run you down." Edward answered.

So with major difficulty with the posse getting the gist of it (Patrick and Spongebob together of course who got it easily thanks to Clam Surfing or whatever) the posse finally began to race.

"OMG I HAVE TO JUMP!" Alice shouted as she came near to the ledge. "AHH!" Vicky screamed and some how they made it across beating Yeto. "Where the hell is he?" Bella asked noticing the yeti was no where to be seen.

"Never trust a yeti." Alice said shaking her head. "NEVER!" Vicky shouted. And so they went inside the mansion after Midna's comment saying "what the…he's a yeti but why does he have such a great house?"

And of course Alice and Vicky's reply of "WE DON'T EVEN FRIGGIN LIVE IN A MANSION!" The abandonment inside the mansion answered the question: it was a death trap.

"Cool I've always wanted to own a death trap!" Vicky laughed. "Link look a door!" Alice pointed out and then went inside. "Me Yeta. You meet Yeto?" Yeta asked. "Oh great more improper grammar." Alice sighed.

"Yes. Thank you Yeta. We're looking for our friends-"Link was interrupted "ahem possessions." Alice coughed. "And possessions, along with a mirror shard." Link explained.

"Oh in other room." Yeta explained and after three hours of trecking to the one monster infested room they found…"GOAT CHEESE? OH COME ON!" Bella shouted when they opened the chest.

Edward on the other hand began laughing, I mean goat cheese? "I swear I am close to giving her a shave." Sweeney threatened. "Hush love hush." Mrs. Lovett cooed. "Omg I still hate her." Vicky growled.

"Goat cheese? Where is the key to the mirror shard?!" Midna asked rather angry. "Never trust a yeti." Alice muttered.

**A/N and the moral of today's chapter? Never trust a yeti. Lol. Well that's all for today kidos! I got relatives coming, Breaking Dawn to read, and also I want to stretch out this temple being the fact it's rather important. Two possessions/friends are going to come by the end of the temple! Oh boy! (shows Spongebob excited) Exposition. **


	8. A Note to my Viewers Next chap 31509

**Disclaimer: What I don't mention anything.**

**  
A/N to Zeldaobsessed (I took time out of my day just to reply.) No you did NOT make me mad. Actually I am very friggin happy you told me because it's better you then some Zelda nerd who calls me a hypocrite for saying I love Zelda and know a lot. Which honestly I just know TP'S plot very well and read into. So lol no you did not and lol the Spongebob and Patrick idea CrimsonDarkness 0013 is SO funny I most likely shall use that now. Thanks. And lol most likely they'll get their purple/green weird suits on naturally. Lol.**


	9. Possesed and Reunite

**Disclaimer: Don't own Spongebob Squarepants, Sweeney Todd, Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, OR Twilight. I also do not own the Spongebob and Patrick idea later presented in this chapter. That idea was and is owned by a great reviewer by the name of CrimsonDarkness 0013**

**A/N I got away from family for a few, so enjoy this short chapter! I only wrote this for your enjoyment, and whoever said that my new TP story sucked why thank you! Remember next update may be this Sunday. You're lucky I updated today. **

After huge back tracking and finding a pumpkin next (in which everyone got seriously pissed about) they finally were facing the mini boss.

"Oh crap he's got a ball!" Vicky shouted. Of course Bella, Edward, and Alice busted out laughing, I mean he's got a friggin ball is SUCH a perverted joke and being the fact they all had twisted minds they caught that mistake.

"AND CHAIN." Vicky added. "Aww." The three moaned. Their joke went down the drain. Oh well. After Link getting beaten to a bloody pulp and gaining the ball (and chain) they set out for the boss key and finally found it.

"I'm friggin freezing." Alice shouted continuously. "WE KNOW!" Everyone but Spongebob and Patrick shouted. Finally they had arrived at the bedroom and glanced at the door.

"Hello!" A voice screeched from behind them. "AHH YOU FRIGGIN CREEPY IMPROPER GRAMMAR YETI WIFE!" Vicky insulted Yeta who really had no care.

"I show you mirror." Yeta explained and unlocked the door. She looked at the mirror oddly along with Spongebob and Patrick. "So pretty." The three cooed. "Okay odd…" Bella whispered.

Suddenly all three's heads turned around abruptly, red eyes glowed. "NOT TAKE MIRROR!" They screamed. "Omg." Vicky whispered. Yeta was surrounded by ice and flown up.

Spongebob and Patrick were in a trance and changed into ice skating suits, purple, green, with a yellow star in the middle but showing their (oddly) hairy chests ice skating suits.

As Link, Edward, and hell even Sweeney (tried being the fact his razors were utterly useless) attacked, Spongebob and Patrick were ice skating, coming after the girls. "Okay if I wasn't worried of getting squashed I'd laugh at those two." Bella mumbled.

"MUMBLER!" Vicky and Alice shouted in unison. Of course Spongebob and Patrick being morons slammed into a wall and blacked out. As soon as the boss fight was over Squidward shouted "QUICK LET'S LEAVE THEM HERE!"

But as tempting as it was they couldn't, the window opened again, and this time a Sweeney Todd dvd appeared save in a home, and a cut out also save in it's home. "JOHNNY!" Alice squealed happily.

Then two figures fell down and thankfully Edward and Link caught them. Edward caught a boy maybe thirteen years old who seemed oddly drunk, while Link caught a girl, blonde in a blue satin dress.

"TOBY YOU'VE BEEN DRINKIN' ME OUT OF HOUSE AN HOME AGAIN HAVEN'T YOU!?!" Mrs. Lovett shouted at the boy. "Ow my head." Toby whimpered. "Lousy drunk." Alice whispered.

Sweeney Todd went to Johanna who stared deep into Link's eyes romantically. "I'm Johanna." Johanna greeted after Link set her down. "I'm dating." Link announced though it was not true.

"Johanna?" Sweeney asked nearing her. "Oh crap a family reunion. How do YOU think it's gonna go?" Vicky asked Alice. "Crappy." Alice answered and they walked off towards Edward and Bella.

"Bella you are going to get pregnant to a baby girl, name it Vicalicy or we will kill you." The two girls threatened. "Are you two possessed?" Bella asked cautiously. "Yeah." The two laughed.

"We WERE." They corrected before they could get beaten up. After much explaining (and surprisingly no shock from Johanna) the two had become reunited. Their was a sudden joy to Sweeney Todd now.

He smirked a LOT and a few times the fan girls accused him of smiling. Spongebob and Patrick woke back up thankfully not possessed but little did they know not everyone in the posse was trustworthy or save.

They had two traitors amongst them. And if they friggin got their way, the entire posse would be killed, minus them.

**A/N we face two traitors, three people needing saving, Midna to speak next time, Johanna drawn to Link, who can we trust now? And why the hell am I asking YOU? As you can see Spongebob and Patrick ice skating/possessed was NOT my idea as the disclaimer says. If you want to give credit to anyone for that give credit where credit is needed and pm her! Sorry it was short but remember. I wasn't supposed to update today! See ya Sunday! **

**I'm out of here bitches,**

**Careful we have VIEWERS now we can't curse we have to bleep. NO FRIGGIN WAY! **


	10. Puff the Magic Dragon

**Disclaimer: I'm not feeling creative for my disclaimer soooo I don't own Sweeney Todd, Twilight, Twilight Princess (I'm feeling lazy and won't write LOZ out), or Spongebob Squarepants. All I own is this really badly written story and Vicky and Alice and Alison. (MY Alice not the other Alice) **

**A/N I'm SO sorry about Another Sweeney 21****st**** Centurary Story, I wrote it, uploaded it, and I didn't get to put it in the story and for SOME reason it says it's an invalid document so I will rewrite that some OTHER time! Sorry guys, don't blame me, it was short so be happy!! You guys get a LONGER and BETTER one but you'll have to wait. "You'll get a better one!" Lol. Also lol I know my story's not badly written because I have like four friggin people who put this in their faves! And to my reviewers and favorite peps thank you SO much for your support!!! Portals Gone A Miss will never discontinue, it shall only end! And now without further ado here is Portals Gone A Miss!**

I'm canceling. Lol. Joking!

**Now for the REAL Portals Gone A Miss!**

Last time on Portals Gone A Miss…

"Johanna?" Sweeney asked nearing her. "Oh crap a family reunion. How do YOU think it's gonna go?" Vicky asked Alice. "Crappy." Alice answered and they walked off towards Edward and Bella.

"Bella you are going to get pregnant to a baby girl, name it Vicalicy or we will kill you." The two girls threatened. "Are you two possessed?" Bella asked cautiously. "Yeah." The two laughed.

"We WERE." They corrected before they could get beaten up. After much explaining (and surprisingly no shock from Johanna) the two had become reunited. Their was a sudden joy to Sweeney Todd now.

He smirked a LOT and a few times the fan girls accused him of smiling. Spongebob and Patrick woke back up thankfully not possessed but little did they know not everyone in the posse was trustworthy or save.

They had two traitors amongst them. And if they friggin got their way, the entire posse would be killed, minus them.

And now the story continues!

"Sooo where the hell are we off to?" Alice asked Link. "Well I say we go to Telma's again." Edward suggested. So quickly they teleported to Hyrule Field near Castle Town.

"MR. LINK!!!!" A voice called. "Oh god it's Postman Pete!" Vicky squealed. After much annoyance from the postman they set off to the dear town your author can not spell.

After some boring statue stuff, girl retaining memory, hidden village (in which Spongebob and Patrick put cat suits on and stalked around), and canon blasting they FINALLY arrived to…"the Sky Temple?" Vicky laughed.

'I'M FRIGGIN ALL WET!" Bella yelled as the wind blew on her as her hair lay damp. "Edward might as well stay away from us; for once I actually wish Jacob was here." Vicky sighed.

Finally, after some impossible maneuvers and major skipping from your author, they arrived at the mini boss. "What in bloody hell is that?" Sweeney asked as they attacked. "No clue." Edward laughed. "A dragon?" Link suggested.

"Careful Mr. T! You got a daughter now!" Mrs. Lovett reminded. "Link claw shot!" Midna shouted. "BELLA!" Vicky shouted. "WHAT!?" Bella asked. "ALICE!" Alice shouted.

Meanwhile Johanna cowered, Bella, Alice, and Vicky chatted away, Mrs. Lovett lectured Toby on drinking, and Sweeney, Edward, and Link killed the dragon. Spongebob and Patrick acted like morons (big surprise) and Squidward yelled at them.

Yeah what a GREAT posse. Once again after much skipping of said author they arrived at the boss. "How the hell did we get here?" Alice asked. "Author skips." Vicky answered.

"Is that Puff the Magic Dragon?" Bella asked as the dragon hovered. "Lol see she caught on!" Vicky laughed. "PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON LIVED BY THE SEA!!" Everyone sang except Johanna, Squidward, and Sweeney Todd.

It was a rather fun time almost getting burnt to a crisp. "CHARLIE!" Bella shouted, quickly Edward flitted to him and caught him. Alice fell next but gently landed on her toes.

"James." Alice growled. "I couldn't see this, it's like we're in another dimension." Edward laughed. "You have NO clue." Vicky and Alice answered in unison. "So where to?" Link asked.

"Twilight Realm." Midna answered. The posse arrived, all hell broke loose.

**A/N very short but very worth it, what hell broke loose? Why the hell hasn't Squidward spoken for three chapters straight? Why the hell hasn't Johanna spoke at all? Who are these traitors? Why the hell am I asking you? Who the hell ARE you? Be sure to check out the poll on my profile and guess who the two traitors are! You'll find out in the NEXT chapter!**


	11. Pep Ralley and Hell Broke Loose

**Disclaimer: I'm back bitches and I still don't own Twilight, Spongebob Squarepants, Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, OR Sweeney Todd, I tried though lol.**

**A/N omg I stood in line for TWO FRIGGIN HOURS FOR TWILIGHT LAST NIGHT LOL! So I'm finally back, I thought of a funny thing to do and well it's going to happen. Traitors shall be revealed in the next chapter so HURRY and go vote on my page! Remember it's ONLY two!**

Everyone arrived at the mirror room, a CD player stood in the middle. Vicky and Alice ran over to it squealing in joy while Alice, Edward, Charlie, and Bella stood shocked to see technology there again.

The sages suddenly appeared and asked Link if he understood about the Midna. "Yes I do." Link informed them. "Vicky, Alice, Edward, Charlie, Bella, and Alice you all know this contraption?" The sages asked.

"Hell yeah sagey!" Vicky laughed insanely. "What CD's in it?" Alice asked (Twilight Alice). "I'll open it." Alice informed everyone (Fan Girl Alice). She opened it to see a CD that had writing on it.

Only writing, it said "Born For This." The two fan girls screamed in delight. "We're gonna need some help on lip singing this!" Vicky announced. The sages laughed "we can be of service."

And so the most embarrassing thing happened, they lip singed.

Vicky: Oh no I just keep on falling  
Sages: (Back to the same old…)  
Alice FG: Where's hope when misery comes crawling  
Sages:(oh my way-ay)  
Vicky: With your faith you'll trigger a landslide  
Bella: (victory)  
Alice FG: To kill off this common sense of mine

Bella: It takes acquired minds to taste, to taste, to taste this wine  
Vicky and Alice FG: You can't down it with your eyes  
Vicky: So we don't need the headlines  
Alice: We don't need the headlines  
Bella: We just want…

Alice T: (We want the airways back, we want the airways back)

Vicky: Everybody sing like it's the last song you will ever sing  
Alice FG: Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?  
Bella: Everybody live like it's the last day you will ever see

Vicky: Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?

Alice FG: Right now you're the only reason  
Sages: (I'm not letting go, oh…)  
Vicky: and I'm out if everyone's worth pleasing  
Sages: (wa ah)  
Bella: You'll trigger a landslide  
Alice T: (Victory)  
Alice FG: to kill off their finite state of mind

Vicky: It takes acquired minds to taste, to taste, to taste this wine  
Alice FG: You can't down it with your eyes  
Bella: So we don't need the headlines  
Alice T: No, we don't want your headlines  
Mrs. Lovett: We just want…

Alice T and Alice FG: (We want the airways back, we want the airways)

Bella: Everybody sing like it's the last song you will ever sing  
Vicky: Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?  
Alice FG: Everybody live like it's the last day you will ever see  
Alice T: Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?  
Mrs. Lovett: Everybody sing like it's the last song you will ever sing  
Spongebob: Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure?

Vicky: Alright, so you think you're ready?  
Alice FG: Ok, then you say this with me  
Bella: Go!  
Vicky: We were born for this  
Everyone: (We were born for this)  
Vicky: Alright, so you think you're ready?  
Alice T: OK, then you say this with me  
Alice FG: Go!  
Bella: We were born for this  
Everyone: (We were born for this)  
Bella, Alice T, Alice FG, Vicky: We were born for this  
Everyone: (We were born for this)

Vicky: We were born for  
Alice FG: We were born for

Bella: Everybody sing like it's the last song you will ever sing  
Alice T: Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure?  
Spongebob and Patrick: Everybody live like it's the last day you will ever see  
Mrs. Lovett: Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure now?  
Vicky: Everybody sing like it's the last song you will ever sing  
Alice FG: Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure?  
Bella: Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure?

Midna: We were born for this  
Alice T: We were born for this  
Everyone: We were born for this

The portal opened to the Twilight Realm. But what hell broke loose? Everyone spotted Collin inside the portal, his body limp and pale. He had been killed.

"That wasn't supposed to happen." Vicky whispered. "That means anyone can die." Alice T muttered depressed. "She's never depressed." Alice FG commented.

Edward held Bella close, Link growled and Midna stared at the body in shock. "No. They've killed an innocent." Midna whispered.

"They'll kill anyone then." Edward growled. "Anyone," Squidward asked. "Anyone," Vicky answered. "I vote Spongebob and Patrick!" Squidward shouted.

"I second that!" Mrs. Lovett stated. "I second you shut up." Alice T hissed. She was so not in the mood. "I say we stay close." Alice FG announced "in case they try to pick us off one by one."

"Collin." Link whispered. Midna held his hand and they stepped inside the portal to face the shadow beasts, Link growled and began to get ready to fight. "Midna do your stuff." Link ordered, prepared to become a wolf.

"What's going on here?" Charlie asked Bella. "Remember we explained to you?" Bella asked. "Yes but what does he mean do your stuff?" Charlie asked annoyed. "He can turn into a wolf." Edward stated.

"Edward." Bella groaned. "At this point I wouldn't doubt anything," Charlie sighed; he was hoping it was all a dream. "Hell if you told me the Cullen's were vampires I wouldn't doubt it!" Charlie joked.

Everyone laughed nervously. "Eeh Hee, about that." Midna started. "Edward and Alice are vampires?" Charlie asked twitching. "Err Dad?" Bella asked.

"You have been hanging around vampires and have known?" Charlie asked still twitching. "Mr. Swann." Edward started.

"Yes Charlie but we're vegetarians in a way, we drink animal's blood." Edward answered a thought question. "He can read our minds too?" Charlie asked pissed off.

"Not mine." Bella informed. "Midna why aren't they attacking?" Link asked when he suddenly noticed their conversation had not been interrupted by attacking shadow beasts.

"Link these are my people, they're under a curse." Midna whispered. Once again hell broke loose when suddenly another unexpected event occurred, the traitors were revealed.


	12. Traitors Revealed and Beating of My Life

**Disclaimer: In my dreams I own Sweeney Todd, Twilight Princess, Twilight, and Spongebob Squarepants. In reality? I don't. The ideas for The Holy Skill Crane hand were once again my brilliant reviewer's CrimsonDarkness 0013 and the ice skating thing during the Zant fight is also (along with them bumping Zant off). She is brilliant and I have nothing more to say about that one. I also did use her Hash Slinging Slasher idea, the don't piss off women idea, and spiny Spongebob and Patrick idea, but the Tattle Tale Strangler idea was mine (bows) thank you for your brilliant reviews my dear friend and ideas, they are taken with such pride and highly respected, may you enjoy one of the last chapters in the grand series of Portals Gone A Miss. This will not be the last of the series though, I have many more ideas for the POSSE. **

**A/N the votes have been cast, the traitors shall be revealed! Join me in the epic fight of Portals Gone A Miss! One of the last chapters in the grand series! Two of the traitors were correct. One was not. And now enjoy one of the last chapters we have! **

"My oh my look who it is…" A high pitched voice laughed. Alice FG and Vicky hissed "Barbra Barbie." "Oh and look it's Mrs. Lovett and Johanna, women take your prize and go to the Usurper King's palace, he has been waiting." Barbra ordered.

"What?" Everyone shouted in unison. "Why nobody knew? The girl's cursed by a Poe and possessed still and why Mrs. Lovett had a plan. A bloody wonder she is isn't she Mr. Todd?" Barbra asked the confused Sweeney.

"My daughter's possessed?" Sweeney asked slightly twitching. "What about the princess? I was told I'd be able to hold her ransom to her parents for money, times is hard now-a-days right Mr. T?" Mrs. Lovett asked winking,

Suddenly Midna was surrounded by arms. "We'll be taken her with us Mrs. Lovett." Beadle Banford snorted. "GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF ME!" Midna screamed. Edward and Alice lunged for her but Bella was held tight by Victoria.

"Make any sudden movements and its snack time." Victoria threatened with a hiss. Link turned to grab Midna when Toby shoved Mrs. Lovett. "YOU ARE A WITCH!" He shouted angry that his mother-role was an evil traitor.

"Nothing's gonna harm you Toby, not while I'm around." Mrs. Lovett sang softly but it was no use, he would not be lied to anymore. "Mr. T snap out of it!" Toby yelled trying to make Sweeney get out of his shock.

Vicky and Alice FG were held back by Barbra who had a strong grip. Link was held back by wires of a computer along with Patrick, Spongebob, and Squidward. "Karen!" Spongebob squealed.

"Oh how's Plankton?" He asked. "GET THEM OFF OF ME!" Midna screamed as she was taken off to the palace. "Come and get her." Victoria hissed to Edward and Link running off with Bella and Midna to the Twilight Palace.

"Bella." Edward whispered. "My little girl." Charlie and Sweeney murmured. Karen took off towards them with Beadle Banford before anyone could notice. Barbra did the same. Vicky glared in the direction.

"We're going after them aren't we?" Squidward asked. They turned around to find Mrs. Lovett and Johanna gone. "Mr. T we not going to hurt mum is we?" Toby asked a bit upset for his mother figure.

"I'll slit her throat along with the beadle and judge," Sweeney promised his razors. "I'll save Midna and destroy Zant." Link announced. "Alice you save Bella, I'll take care of Victoria." Edward ordered.

"Charlie, Patrick, Spongebob, Squidward, you guys take care of Karen. Toby can you kick a girl?" Vicky asked. "But maim." Toby began. "I'll take that as a yes, me and Alice got some ass kicking to do." Vicky explained a smirk on her lips.

"On a rainy Monday," Alice FG sang holding Vicky in a hug. "I feel it inside me." Vicky sang back. "Like the days of summer," The girls sang in unison as the group made their way to the left.

After much annoyance the group made it to a dead end room, a hand stood in the back of the room a ball of blue light inside. "What is it?" Link asked curiously stepping forward.

"A sol, the Twili's sun," Vicky informed the posse. A sudden movement caught their eyes. They swore they had spotted a body. It flickered again and sure enough Zant appeared a hologram.

"AHH IT'S THE HASH SLINGING SLASHER!" Spongebob screamed frightened. "But where's the phone call and bus?" Patrick asked. "Oh it's NOT the Hash Slinging Slasher." Spongebob sighed.

"AHH IT'S THE TATTLE TALE STRANGLER!" Spongebob screamed again. "Morons it's just a Zant hologram." Alice FG sighed. After a quick battle with the Zant hologram Barbra appeared.

"Hello morons. Edward hotty, want to date?" Barbra winked. Edward growled while the two girls lunged at her. "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Vicky shouted as she punched her. "GET THEM OFF!" Barbra screamed.

Suddenly Barbra glowed, "crap." She whispered and suddenly disappeared. "Go get the sol Link." Alice T ordered. Link stepped forward and slashed the hand with the sword and it opened up.

He picked the sol up and began walking. Suddenly it glowed and floated up, first it went for everyone but Link. "Edward get everyone out of here!" Alice T shouted, Edward picked Alice FG and Vicky up first running off out of the tiny palace.

"IT'S THE HOLY SKILL CRANE HAND!" Spongebob squealed and grabbed the sol out of Link's hand. "NO YOU MORONS!" Squidward shouted as Patrick and Spongebob held it up to the hand.

Charlie knocked the two down and handed the sol over to Link. "Go before those retards give it to the hand." Charlie ordered as he was taken off with Squidward on Link.

Finally the sol had been put back and the group did the same as before, this time the sol was not taken by the two morons.

Victoria had appeared and after much lovely choose curses from Edward's mouth and many graphic violence scenes that Alice FG and Vicky closed their eyes on they stood in the center of the palace.

"Put your sword in Link." Vicky ordered, Link did suit and it began to sparkle. "Now go cut that dark light crystaly stuff." Alice FG ordered also.

"Wow they are bossy." Charlie exclaimed. "SHUT UP CHARLIE!" The two shouted in unison while Edward chuckled a bit.

After much idiotic behavior they arrived at the palace. There Zant sat next to the possessed Johanna, regular Mrs. Lovett, and Beadle Banford who sat on his perverted lap held by him as she tried to wiggle free.

Midna was chained against a wall and Alice T rushed to her. "It's okay." Alice whispered and broke the chains. Midna rubbed her wrists and walked over to Link. After a great display of ballerina classes the battle began.

"YOU BASTARD!" Edward shouted hearing a disturbing thought from Beadle Banford. "Why she is a lovely lady is she not?" The Beadle snorted.

Sweeney Todd lunged at Mrs. Lovett first, forgetting the revenge he had promised on the Judge and Beadle. He clutched her neck against the wall and put his razor to it. A repeat of what had happened to Barbra happened to Mrs. Lovett.

"I had her." Sweeney whispered, "YEAH WELL GO KILL BANFORD!" Vicky shouted as Zant came close to Link ready to change their board and fight. In a matter of seconds the same happened to Beadle Banford and well Sweeney got pissed off.

"Bastards, is there NOTHING I can kill?" He shouted. Vicky had made Karen disappear and the fight was about to begin. The area changed to the forest dungeon.

"LINK THE BOOMERANG!" Vicky squealed as she was dodging purple beams, she was almost hit when Alice T ran by and picked her up on her back. Sweeney Todd stabbed Zant when he was on the ground and the board changed again.

"Toby are you okay?" Bella asked as she was held by Charlie and Edward. "I'll be alright miss." Toby promised as they were suspended above lava. "SHIT!!!" Alice FG screamed when she saw the lava.

Spongebob and Patrick began singing Goofy Goober to calm them down to no avail.

Zant began jumping up and down and if it weren't for Alice T and Edward they would have all fallen down except for well Link and Midna.

Edward gripped onto Charlie, Bella, Toby, Johanna, and Vicky. Alice T gripped onto Alice FG, Spongebob, Squidward, Sweeney, and Patrick. Quickly Link had him knocked down and they were teleported underwater.

Edward put his mouth to Bella and breathed to give her oxygen. Link began quickly tearing his suit and handed everyone a piece which immediately allowed them to breath underwater.

"Thank you Link." Toby thanked the man as he began fighting again. Finally they were surrounded by huge helmet heads. "LINK THE ONE ON THE RIGHT!" Toby screamed pointing to one.

Toby had figured out an unknown pattern to Zant's appearances thankfully. The board changed a fourth time to the place Yeta, Spongebob, and Patrick had become possessed.

Suddenly the two retards changed into their skating outfits and began skating in circles and a few times knocked into poor Zant's foot gaining a headache on their part.

"Edward and Alice run into Zant's foot!" Vicky and Alice FG ordered while Link swung the ball and chain. "Sweeney when Zant shrinks swipe at him with your razor!" Vicky informed him and so was done.

The board changed for a fifth time to a totem pole center and the morons knocked into one by accident which Zant was standing on. Link stabbed poor Zant in the ass and finally the board changed for the last time.

They stood before Hyrule Castle and Zant swiped his two swords together and began spinning around, Spongebob and Patrick began twirling around also. The fight had finally ended and after a boring monologue by Zant Midna finished him off with her hair.

"I just did that with a fraction of my power!" She exclaimed while the posse stared at her in shock. "See this is why you don't piss off chicks!" Vicky, Alice FG, Alice T, and Bella laughed in unison.

"Come on guys we have to go save Zelda!" Midna shouted opening a portal. "If Ganondorf is behind this entire madness then, well, I have a feeling he's behind that barrier." Midna explained as she stared at the fused shadow helmet floating in her hand.

They shall have vengeance.

**A/N more to come soon, thanks and reviews are highly loved. Reviews make me update faster actually soon review or I won't update MWAHAHA! Also guess what the SEQUAL (oh yeah bitches) is going to be called? Portals Gone A Miss: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Yeah that's right, what havoc shall happen next?**


	13. A Short Supply of Dialogue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sweeney Todd, TP, Twilight, or Spongebob Squarepants, all I own is Vicky, Alice FG, and Alison! LOL! I also do not own the Fused Shadows gimmick, the ice cream cone gimmick, or the Goofy Goober scene, that is owned by my dear reviewer CrimsonDarkness 0013 again. Thanks for the triforce, cookies, and cake for letting me let you join the sequel! Well this may just be the end!**

**  
A/N I may end this here, who knows? Lol. SOOO we see Portals Gone A Miss, leave and come back!**

After a few minutes of warping to Castle Town and walking to the castle they found Midna's fused shadow helmet automatically going on her.

"CRAP RUN AWAY!" Alice FG shouted and ran back as Mind formed into a cross between a water octopus and water spider (in which Vicky coward) everyone stared in shock.

When Midna came close after the force field had been destroyed Patrick took out a huge rock the size of his home (goddesses of Hyrule only KNOW where he got it) and began pounding Midna with it screaming "SPIDER!"

Meanwhile the group face palmed themselves, except for Link who ordered Patrick to stop, Spongebob was shouting "NO PATRICK STOP!" But of course he did not until Midna had gone unconscious.

Midna woke up as an imp again in Link's arms as it began raining and the two smiled. "JUST KISS!" Toby shouted suddenly. "Wow," Edward laughed. Meanwhile Bella grinned at the sudden romance.

After much annoying fluff in which the King Bulbin game back and spoke to which Midna stated "Link…he…he spoke!" Alice FG, Vicky, Patrick, and Spongebob shouted suddenly "I'M A GOOFY GOBER ROCK!" spoiling the moment.

Midna glared at the fan girls knowing they knew better but they simply shrugged and spoke in unison "what can we say, we like ruining the moment."

Finally they had arrived at well the throne room. "Get the ghosts rats off me," Bella whimpered, she still hated the feeling of that. "I told you they're off!" Link groaned while Edward held her.

They all walked inside to see Ganondorf on the throne "Omg does your Grandma do your hair?" Alice T asked noticing the culler effect (**eeh hee, happy?**). Ganondorf winced at this but shrugged it off.

"We've been expecting you." He chuckled; suddenly James, Judge Turpin, Plankton, and Alison appeared. "Shit." Vicky gulped. The first battle began with Midna getting knocked out thanks to Zelda being possessed by Ganondorf.

"AHHH PRINCESS ON THE EDGE," Patrick shouted and took his rock out again; he bounced the ball of light back and forth until after three tries she was knocked out. Link had helped with his sword while Sweeney killed Judge Turpin (who also disappeared).

"They won't die because it's not their TIME to." Alice FG explained while James got ready. The barrier that had blocked an escape left allowing Midna to change once again.

Spongebob held Patrick back as Midna took Ganondorf out of Zelda's body. She stared at the princess and they exchanged a monologue while James, Alison, and Plankton watched their leader form once more.

"Err. Edward, we have a problem…." Bella groaned noticing James sniff the air with joy. As soon as Ganon formed fully Link began attacking with Midna when the barrier come up again.

Edward began tarring James apart while the others looked away. Alice T began a fire while Bella stood next to Sweeney, Charlie, and Toby. Alice FG and Vicky stood next to Patrick, Spongebob, and Squidward who were watching Link fight Ganonpork.

"Not much dialogue eh?" Alice FG asked Vicky, "lazy FF author." Vicky complained. Finally that mess ended and Midna put the fused shadows on once more. She grinned as Ganon reformed again. "NO MIDNA DON'T," Link shouted as she teleported everyone outside.

Zelda, Link, Johanna, Bella, Edward, Spongebob, Squidward, Patrick, Charlie, Alice T, Vicky, Alice FG, Sweeney, and Toby stood outside a yard away from the castle looking around.

The castle fell suddenly. "Oh no," Bella gasped beginning to cry. "Do you really think?" Vicky asked Alice FG. Suddenly Ganondorf appeared with a smirking Plankton and Alison; he broke her helmet in which Link growled.

"Take those two out," Link ordered but then Ganondorf charged on his horse with bad guys close behind, they found themselves in a pool of light in just seconds. "Light arrows." Edward whispered in Bella's ear hearing the princesses' thoughts.

They were back in Hyrule Field where Link was getting ready to mount Epona. Patrick had an ice cream cone….he dropped it on Epona's saddle where Zelda would sit. Zelda sat on the ice cream not noticing and Link sat in front.

"Take care of those two and BE CAREFUL!" Link called out as he and Zelda began battling, he had fallen off of Epona fifteen times not once Zelda.

"Well look who it is? Obsessed fan bitches." Alison mocked the girls, the Cullen's growled while Sweeney held a razor up, Charlie held out a gun, Patrick a huge rock, and the rest their hands.

She disappeared like the rest and well so did Plankton, it was a quick battle. They saw Link inside a barrier battling Ganondorf a minute afterwards. "Wow it's come down to this, mono-e-mono?" Alice T laughed knowing Link would win.

"I don't know who mono-e-mono is but it's just down to Link and Mr. Culler." Spongebob explained. The group laughed except for Sweeney. "Do you think we'll get back home?" Bella asked Edward as the battle raged on.

"I think so," Edward laughed holding her. The battle ended and light spirits descended. "They're bringing Midna back," Edward announced and the group ran over with Link.

Sure enough Midna appeared, but as her normal self she stood up and grinned while all the men (including Edward) had their mouth's open in shock. "What say something? Am I so beautiful you have no words left?" Midna joked.

Link smiled while Edward laughed. Spongebob had been the ONLY one who had not stared in shock. "She's purtty Spongebob." Patrick said romantically.

"Patrick you knocked her out cold, not gonna happen." Alice FG laughed. All of them were teleported to the mirror chamber. "Light and Shadow are two sides of the same coin." Zelda stated.

The posse except Link and Zelda stepped on the mirror. "If the light spirits were correct this should bring you home too." Midna explained. She pushed a tear to the mirror "Link…I…see you later." Midna sighed defeated.

The mirror began to crack and Link ran up to where the group stood. The mirror broke leaving only Zelda. "Great, now I have to ride a horse, lazy bastard," Zelda cursed un-princess like.

MEANWHILE

"You told me to wait now he'll never come again." Sweeney sang and stopped. "I was only thinking of you." Mrs. Lovett begged upon noticing that Sweeney was back now and angry at her traitorism. (**I forgot how to spell the CORRECT word so lol**)

"OW MY ASS," A voice wailed standing up. "Oh crap." Bella, Vicky, Alice FG, Alice T, and Edward muttered in unison noticing they were not home.

"Aww man," Spongebob and Patrick wailed. "I hate all of you," Squidward stated. "Link you idiot! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO DO THAT! IT WAS FOR OUR KINGDOM'S SO THIS MISHAP DIDN'T HAPPEN AGAIN!" Midna shouted at the Hyrulian.

"I'm sorry but I couldn't let you go." Link explained and then held Midna by the waist and planted a soft kiss on her lips. "Hate to break it to you love birds, but we're on Fleet Street." Vicky reminded them.

**A/N Wow CLIF HANGER! Subscribe to author to see Portals Gone A Miss 2: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street! THANKS! R&R!**


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